“We Need To Talk?” The 4 Most Hated Words in Marriage

“We Need To Talk…” Well, that just ruined my day! I remember sitting down unexpectedly on the couch as my spouse stood on the side of the T.V. in our living room to drop this dreadful news. “What did I do” or better yet…”What didn’t I do” is what I thought. More importantly, “Why now”? I remember thinking to myself, “there was plenty of time to bring up “We need to talk”…like when I was standing right next to you. Or maybe when we were actually talking…you remember? It was about an hour ago! Why here? Why now? What caused you so much anguish that you had to ruin my day, my T.V. show and my peace to simply say…“We Need To Talk”. It’s a simple meaningless statement at this point. It makes no sense if you don’t actually say what it is WE need to talk about! I have come to understand why this combination of 4 words is so frustrating. It’s because nothing occurred before these words were uttered and nothing typically happens after these words are uttered.

This may not be a fair statement for some but it is a fair description of my feelings and the feelings of most people who find themselves in the passenger seat of the “We Need To Talk” ride.

The bigger challenge is recognizing the signs of poor communication traits that lead to this dreaded discussion in the first place.

  • Someone whether they want to admit it or not…allowed their issues to fester! We encourage you to Speak Out and not Speak In.
  • Don’t Assume everything is okay. Ask if everything is okay.
  • If it’s important to them it should be important to you.
  • Delivery and timing of important messages are critical.
  • Lay everything on the table except insults and degrading statements.
  • Yield to Silence and give way to open conversations.

Finally, we encourage you to stay on task! Don’t jump from topic to topic expecting your mate to follow along. Number your hot topic points in order of importance and allow active listening and an open discussion to take over.

The Me to We Talk Podcast wants healthy conversations to flow in your relationships? Join the conversation today…Download the Me to We Talk Podcast and gain 3 tips on the most inopportune times to say …We Need To Talk to your mate! Download Today!

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